Food Allergy Humour Alert!
25 Things Only a Food Allergy Parent Would Understand
A brilliant expose by Misty Bailey, with contributions by Adam Wenger and the Living with Anaphylaxis Facebook community. Medically reviewed by George T. Krucik, MD, MBA. Published by Health Line.
1. You’re the one up late making cupcakes the night before a birthday party — and it’s not even your kid’s birthday!
2. You instinctively say, “No,” to the flight attendant before you’re even offered a snack.
3. You can ask, “What’s in this cookie?” in five different languages.
4. Vacations end up being more work because you have to pack your whole pantry.
5. Words like potluck and picnic elevate your blood pressure.
6. You know the feeling of doom that comes when your child gets an invite to a birthday party.
7. You give your kid a high-five the first time they turn down a cookie because they don’t know the ingredients.
8. When your child comes to you with a bellyache and you silently analyze everything they ate that day.
9. You walk into people’s homes and begin checking labels — on everything.
10. You don’t remember the last time you ate out.
11. You worry not only about your child’s lunch, but also about everyone else’s lunch.
12. You’ve spent Halloween throwing out all the candy your child collected but couldn’t eat.
13. You understand why otherwise harmless words like “manufactured in” can cause someone to cringe with fear.
14. You know what hydrolysates and lactoglobulin are.
15. When someone shows up with “surprise” cupcakes you have to tell your child, “Yes, I know they look great, but you can’t have any because there’s an allergen inside.”
16. You’ve cried in the middle of a grocery store aisle when you found a new food that you could add to your safe list.
17. You understand why “just one bite” CAN hurt.
18. Your heart stops anytime you get a phone call from your kid’s school.
19. You don’t understand why food that has the “good stuff” taken out is SO much more expensive than the ones with those ingredients intact.
20. You had to take out a loan to buy nondairy, soy-free, wheat-free, and nut-free food this month.
21. You’ve analyzed the soy vs. almond vs. rice debate when it comes to milk, and now feel like you have a degree in nutritional studies.
22. You’ve stopped talking to friends and family who refuse to understand allergies can actually kill your child.
23. On the first day of school, when parents begin asking about food restrictions, your face gets red and your pulse quickens.
24. You’ve offered to teach a class on how to read nutrition labels because you know it takes a rocket scientist to understand that stuff!
25. You have to explain why there are two toasters in your kitchen. And why one has a label on it that says, “BEWARE OF GLUTEN.”
A brilliant expose by Misty Bailey, with contributions by Adam Wenger and the Living with Anaphylaxis Facebook community. Medically reviewed by George T. Krucik, MD, MBA. Published by Health Line.
